Things that Go Bump in the Night-The Peril of the Phantom Pedestrian-Advice against becoming Roadkill.

Sheldon’s knuckles blanched snow-white as he gripped the steering wheel of his aging Honda.  With every ounce of adrenaline he attempted to direct it slowly homeward, his goal to stay between the faded lines. His wipers squeaked painfully against the windshield only slightly improving his vision of a storm-swept street.

 

Oncoming lights glared like beacons.  His eyes blinked incessantly.  Red and white blurred into a wet, pink luminescence.  Instinctively, however, he (and his car) knew the way home, so he was confident that he would prevail.  The driveway of his home home, however, would look like heaven’s pearly gates.

“Oh good, a traffic signal ahead,” he noted with relief, “at least there will be some light at the intersection.”

Whaarump-parump.

“What the…?”

Something very warm and thick clouded his eyes.  His head pounded, his heart raced.  He slumped dizzily sideways onto the passenger seat and thought, “Where did that dog come from?”

His world fell dark.  Near-deaf ears muted the sounds of sirens.  With waining consciousness he kept thinking of the poor family who had just lost a pet.  Suddenly hands were all over his body, a brace stiffened his neck, someone held a compress to his forehead.

“I’m sorry about the dog,” he said.

“Sir, I’m afraid you’re a little confused,” replied the medic. “First lets get you safely to the hospital.  The police will talk to you about the pedestrian when you are stable.”

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The scenario is fictional, the problem is real.  Blacktop is, in effect, invisible when wet. Very little water is needed to fill cracks, the road becomes a thin lake.  Tiny crevasses ordinarily scatter light, bouncing part of it back, and illuminating your way. The road, instead, becomes a mirror reflecting your beams onto the traffic ahead and their “beacons” directly (and bounced) into your doubly-blinded eyes.

Add a dark-dressed, hooded person to the road and you have a standing (or running) recipe for disaster!  We have all been there, on one side of the problem or the other.

Now to the crux of the problem: underused crosswalks.  In short, on dark rainy days and nights many people, young and old, disguise themselves as “dark air,” then stand, walk, amble, or run in and about vehicle lanes. That’s like saying “hit me with your best shot.” And not infrequently we do!

The whole concept of pedestrian right-of-way is abused.  The motorist’s first instinct upon seeing a pedestrian in the road is to lay on the horn.  Now I know that is not considered nice, but what is more important–being nice to a dead man or perturbing one whose life you may save? If reasonable jaywalking rules were statutorily inforced, horn blowing would be the theme of the night.  The average motorist would gladly trade one darting, invisible jaywalker for fifty slothful cross-walkers.  Take your time.  I, for one, will wait for you through two stop light cycles if necessary!

The last item is reflective clothing.  Unfortunately most winter wear is dark.  If you wear dark, and are in an area where you “need’ to jaywalk during dusk, dark or rain, please cover yourself with fluorescent duct tape.  I’ll flash my lights to show my delight!

GW Yeatman